Top 5 Worst Proposal Ideas

 

Thinking of tying the knot? Here’s a list of 5 ways you should never propose.

 

1. Sneak into her facebook account and secretly change her relationship status to ”Engaged.” Wait to see how she reacts when hundreds of people start commenting, or better yet, calling to congratulate her. If she seems unenthused, blame it on a hacker.

 

2. Say to her… ”My mother has been really wanting grandchildren as of late. Whaddya say you let me water your seeds?…This will, of course, mean that we’ll have to make it official. You know I can’t have any bastards in my family.”

 

3. Buy a huge, puffy, white wedding dress. Put on the dres and wait for her to get home from work. Once she walks in, run around the house screaming and hyperventilating like a madman. When she asks you what the heck you are doing, tell her you’re doing your impersonation of her after you propose.

 

4. Go to a cheesy kid’s jewelry store and buy a plastic engagement ring for no more than $5. Once she accepts your proposal, wait and see how long it takes her to notice that ring is bogus. If it takes her longer than two weeks to realize it, call the engagement off.

 

5. After you’ve been dating for two weeks, take her out for pizza and say, ”I need a favor. I’m still madly in love with my ex-girlfriend. Will you marry me? I desperately need to make her jealous.” Just make sure to bring a large piece of raw meat to remedy the black eye you are sure to get.